Cyber Bullying


“You look like a fish inside a chicken smoking a cigarette”
​​​​​​​I received a text this week from one of our kids.  He was bothered because of something that someone had posted on his you tube account.  I immediately pulled it up and to be honest, I was appalled at the cruelty of the comment. 


“Who thinks this way?” quickly went to “What was their motive in posting that?”

https://www.heartlightministries.org/?s=mean+girlsHe responded to them in a way that he felt was appropriate.  It was firm.  Looking back at it I could see where someone might think he was being harsh.  His response wasn’t hateful but he definitely confronted the fact that their words didn’t match their testimony.  Within minutes they had deleted their comment. 


I guess I was naïve enough to believe that it would stop there.


It didn’t. 


The next 24 hours produced a stream of comments from 4 or 5 other people. More rude comments, more of our son asking questions and defending himself and finally, an adult asking them to stop. 


They didn’t. 


He spent the rest of the day deleting their comments as they popped up.   

I’ve thought a lot about it since then.  As a parent my “mama bear” definitely wanted to come out and respond with something equally mean.  I think that’s human nature.  But maybe that’s the problem….


How often do we respond out of “human” nature versus allowing the Holy Spirit to change our hearts?


Ephesians 4:29​​​​​​​

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.


Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past few months, you’ve certainly witnessed some disturbing, hateful posts and discussions in social media.  How did we get to the point that we now believe that we should speak (or type) everything we are thinking and feeling, with no regard to how it will affect someone else?


It’s a hard lesson.  I wonder where these students are learning to share their every thought (positive or negative) ?  From us. 


So as I have been praying over this situation and asking God what my response should be I’m sensing that He wants me to evaluate my own heart.  He wants me to stop before I respond or type something that could offend.  He wants me to ask Him if it’s okay – before I hit the enter button. 


This happened to me just the other day.  I had refrained from commenting on a highly controversial event and then I read an Instagram post that said exactly what I was thinking.  There was nothing wrong with it.  It spoke of truth and grace and coming together.  I reposted it on my facebook page and then I felt something in my spirit.  “Delete it.”  At first I thought, “It’s MY page.  There’s nothing offensive about it.” 


And again I heard, “Delete it.” 


And so I did. 


In an effort to encourage our son and make him laugh yesterday, I did a quick internet search on one of his favorite actresses, Emma Stone.  In an interview she was asked about the craziest thing anyone has ever said about her.  Her response made me laugh:


“Someone once said that I look like a fish inside a chicken, smoking a cigarette”


People are ridiculous.  What does that even mean?


I sent it to my son and it made him laugh.  The words that were posted on his you tube page were hurtful but thankfully he is learning that his identity and affirmation come from God – not anyone else.


May we continue to show Christ’s love with our words and our actions.  God please help us.


Cyber Bullying is a real thing.  You know that.  But are you aware of the impact it’s having on your kids?  What impact is it having on you?  If you or someone in your family has been “triggered” by comments that another person made, ask God to show you why it triggered you.  I’ve found that He is usually trying to show us something that needs to be healed.  If we can help you through that process or help your child with a plan to deal with cyber bullying, please give us a call. 


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